A little dose of reality

The long weekend was wonderful. Not only did I get to spend it in community with other Christians, but it opened my eyes to the desires of my heart. 

Coming home sucked. I wanted to stay there forever. Waking up to the sound of the water hitting the shore line, to boats breezing by and the smell of last nights campfire still in the air. It was incredible. Coming home made me realize something though. No matter where you are, Jesus is there also. Away, home, there, here, Jesus is with you. 

My butt got put into gear this morning. Reality came knocking on my door through the sound of my alarm clock kicking this tired girly out of bed. I got my courses sorted out for school, and I also made a commitment to the Lord, again. But this time, it was very specific. 

So here it goes. 

Last night I went to this wonderful thing called Ethos. It's a young adults service all about inspiring young adults to love Jesus and to make Him known. 

"Ethos should strive to be a hopeful, humble, hill." 

The biggest thing I got out of this sermon wasn't to do with work or positions or being in a place of authority. What I got out of it related to what my heart was going through. That sermon was for me. 

Daniel knew which hill to die on. He knew when to stand and that's because he knew where God was leading him. 

This brought upon the thought of dating. It is only by God that I am placed in that position. Wherever the Lord places me, that's the position I'm supposed to be in. He calls us to be in different positions at different times. One revelation I had last night was that I'm in no place to be in a position of dating, I'm just not. My heart is still healing, my trust is still suffering, and the Lord has a time for me. 

Isaiah 40:25-31 reads 

“To whom then will you compare me, that I should be like him? says the Holy One. Lift up your eyes on high and see: who created these? He who brings out their host by number, calling them all by name, by the greatness of his might, and because he is strong in power not one is missing. Why do you say, O Jacob, and speak, O Israel, "My way is hidden from the Lord, and my right is disregarded by my God"? Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.”

They who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength

For an entire year, I will wait on the Lord. He will build me up with wings like eagles and I will not grow weary, I will not faint. The Lord has me, he has carried me all this time. 

July 1st 2017 I will revisit this idea of dating, but until then... I will wait on the Lord and I will trust in Him. He's mighty, He is strong and He is so incredibly loving. This year will be life changing. Not only will I use this to pull myself closer to Christ, but it will help me to be still. 

I'll appreciate friendships and I'll build on them. Nothing will be in the way, nothing will separate me from the love of the Lord.

Not only will this show me things about myself, but it'll give me time to work on them. No prospects, just Jesus. 

I'll be intentional with my relationships and I'll appreciate them so much more. It'll be an all around Jesus party 🎉

I want to be hopeful and I want to be humble. A strong relationship with the Lord is a life changer. 

Create in me patience

God takes the most unexpected people to do the most unexpected things. 

I never dreamed of being in this position. Today I got promoted. This wasn't just a little promotion either. I am officially the assistant store manager. I'm 20. I'm still in awe of it all. Me. Amy. Holy moly cow. 

A couple of months ago, I was miserable. Heck, a couple days ago I was miserable. I was drowning in self pity. My heart was broken, that's okay for a little while. It's okay to be sad and hurt. But there's a time when that needs to stop. 

I have purpose for Gods greater purpose. 

It's only recently I'm seeing this. 

We all meet Jesus in different ways. 

One of my favourite sayings goes like this : I would rather be outside thinking about God, than in church thinking about outside. 

To me, this is perfect. That's how some people truly meet Jesus, by exploring his creation and soaking it all in. 

Me? I meet Jesus through music. Every. Single. Time. That's when I experience the Holy Spirit moving in me. When I feel God the most is when singing praise to Him. 

Last Sunday we sang these words "how sure our salvation and we will not be shaken, Jesus firm foundation." It's now Monday evening and I've been singing those lines non stop. 

When we plant ourselves on Gods foundation, we are sturdy. He is our support. He is our refuge. He is our strength. 

I'm so amazed by Gods faithfulness. I've been promised so many times - stick to gods plan, draw close to Him, seek Him during this - and it wasn't until tonight that I'm able to sit back and see what He's done these past months. 

God chose me. He loves me. 

That blows my mind. God loves me so much, that he took something away from me. I don't know how long he'll take it away for, it could be forever even. But that's okay. I stopped paying attention to God. I began making my own decisions and it destroyed me. I chose to ignore God. And look what happened? My heart was broken. I didn't give it to God to take care of. 

Now here's the cool part - 

I have friends. Really good friends. 

I have church community.

I have an awesome, loving family that always has my back. 

I got a promotion... An incredible promotion I so don't deserve. 

I have education. 

I have so many things, yet here I am complaining about the one person I don't have. Really, I should be crying out to the Lord and making HIM that one person. 

You see, I could have everything good in the world and it still wouldn't be enough. 

I wouldn't have Jesus. 

And that's more than anything this world could ever offer me. 

Just when I thought God stopped listening to me... Everything had fallen into place right before my eyes. And to think I wouldn't have even noticed. 

Live in the present. Think about now. Enjoy the moments. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength, and love your neighbour as yourself. Lead by example. 

Be patient with God, just as He is patient with us. 

Create in me patience, good, good Father.